Sexy Back: Commitment...
Monday, October 18, 2004
「 dancing away 1:47 AM 」



This sentence crossed my mind... "Should a person be commited to a particular person, object or organisation?"
There are always 2 views to this, either u have one or u dun. Personally, i think we should not have, imagine u having dependent so heavily on something for support either moral, spritual or emotional. For example, a gF. If someone wants to hurt you, they can just attack ur most loved and take advantage of you, what if they left u hanging, or just diminish from your life?? Won't you be even more lost??
I myself, always potray myself as cheerful, out going, good natured, and competitive, however, i am not commited to anything at all. I dun want to i think, i am seriously afraid of the commitments that it entails. U can call me a coward, but i think i am being protective of myself.
However, the are drawbacks in it. U reap wat u sow, i looking back at my life, i think i am a worthless piece of shit who dun even have a true friend. Take a look from pre-school, i am constantly in my own world, i dun even stay long with others in the playground. Primary was worse, i was ostracize like mad, i even make my "Best Friend", Herbrina leave me. Sec school was not much better, NCC has let me earned lotsa friends, but not even a close one, take for examples, Qilun, he is always constantly around to help, but he only depises me i think, look at his attitude towards me, i am always the last to know he changed gf or maybe his results improved, like so many years of friendship and now he cringes everything i wear a VJ shirt in front of him... can't tell u how much close am i to tears now.
Dun talk about friends, even family members, i was nvr close to my sis.s, my mom or dad, not even my blood cousins, i dun even know something vague about wat Roger is doing now, or how good is Alvin's relationship with his gf...
All this arises cause i can't commit, yes though i am always welcomed, i am not always trusted in, cause i appear and i am to people, as someone who is just can't commit, or even be concerned about stuffs..
Hope this sentence can evoked something in you, give me some comments or views in the tag board or in your blog..

Dun follow in my footsteps, cause i feel like a loser, one who belongs to everywhere but nowhere, i go with the flow, and sometimes i get buffeted here and there by the current that i feel confused and..................lost........................

dAnieL -- Lost in life...